You don't see them so much anymore, but back in the day every farm had a mule or three. However, our love of mule has endured here in the midwest. It's the official state animal in Missouri, the mascot for Central Missouri State University (or whatever in the hell they're callin' it these days) and the high school mascot in towns from Fairfield, Illinois to Bedford, Michigan to Poplar Bluff. Nowadays the Amtrak line from St. Louis to Kansas City is called the "Mule." And if you've never swallowed a Moscow Mule you're missing something. (Get your mind outta the gutter.) Just add vodka, lime juice and ginger Beer and serve it cold in a pewter mug. It's gooder'n hell, I'm telling ya.
Oh sure, you thought that Don Draper guy on the teevee was a native of New York? Heck no — that boy is from St. Louis, Missouri. He went to some fancy-pants high school in Ladue (where the money is) and even got an acting scholarship to go to Mizzou. (Brad Pitt went there too without an acting scholarship, but he seems to do OK.) But you know he's a White Midwesterner on account of the way he wears pleated khakis on the show, and I bet you a donut he's got a few pieces of Budweiser memorabilia at his house. You can take the boy outta St. Louis, but you can't take the St. Louis outta the boy.
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(a) Yes.
(b) Gross! Who'd put an olive in an appletini?
(a) round up the kids, strap on their bike helmets, run down to the basement and cover yourselves with a mattress while cowering under the pool table until the all clear.
(b) grab the video camera and head out to the cul-de-sac. While out there, gossip with your neighbors about that new Korean family that moved into the Knudsen's old house who are down in their basements with bike helmets on, cowering under the Knudsen's old pool table until the all clear.
(a) Tennis.
(b) Are ya kidding me?
(a) None.
(b) Uff da — who ISN'T Lutheran in our family!
(a) Mason City Country Club
(b) VFW Post 733
By: C.L. Freie
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC
ISBN: 978-0-7407-7953-4
Format: Paperback: 6 1/2 x 8, 192 pages
Price: $12.99 ($14.50 Canada)
Contact: Shelly Barkes, (800) 851-8923, ext. 6818, sbarkes@amuniversal.com
